“Yo tengo bajón.”
What does it mean?
In the words of the wise Kat Williams, it means, “I ain’t dead. I’m gonna wake up in 20 minutes, hungry enough to eat up everything in your house.”
I’m talking about the munchies. And you can imagine (being the foodie that I am) the level of munchies that I get. I’m not gonna lie, it gets a little out of control sometimes. It starts with a singular oreo and ends with a pizza covered in ranch dressing, a grease soaked bag from taco bell, a bowl of something chocolatey but not readily identifiable, and is that peanut butter I taste stuck to the roof of my mouth? My goodness the things I do to my poor belly between the hours of 11 pm and 6 am!
I have encountered a problem satisfying the munchies in Argentina though, because the best foods (and by that, I mean most gross and fattening) are American creations often unavailable here. There are no coco-puffs, no buffalo chicken wings, no bagel bites, no Tostito Hint o’ Limes, no pretzels, no double stuffed oreos, and if you really want peanut butter, you have to purchase it from a fancy wine and cheese shoppe for the steep price of about $80 pesos (thats 3 hours of my salary, to put that figure into perspective).
But as the munchies crept up on me the other night, I had an idea. I remembered hearing about a burger joint in Canitas, serving up ‘Yanqui-esk’ concoctions such as onion rings, chicken wings, juicy burgers, and quesadillas. I wanted anything fried, spicy, breaded, and fattening, and I wanted it ASAP. So my friends and I headed over to The Office for some proper Yanqui grub.
We started with an order of Buffalo Chicken Wings, which came with an intensely hot dipping sauce (not Frank’s Buffalo sauce of course, but still satisfyingly spicy). The wings themselves were good, although Casa Bar still takes the trophy for best wings in Bs As…they import the Franks Hot Sauce so they automatically win.
Then we got 2 large orders of cheese fries for the table to share, which were a nice taste of American comfort. They were crispy, well-salted, and came topped with a delicious variety of melted cheeses. Definitely hit the spot.
Next to arrive was the basket of onion rings! (I told you I get out of hand sometimes). These were FABULOUS! Actually, my favorite menu item from The Office, which is surprising since I normally don’t indulge in this fried delicacy (but then again, I consume a lot of things I wouldn’t even admit to eating sober, when I have the munchies!). They were piping hot, the batter was thick and crispy, and the mayo dip was absolutly perfect!
Now for the main course! I ordered the California Burger with ground beef, cheddar cheese, mozzarella, lettuce, tomato, avocado, bacon, and honey mustard. Of course, this was served with even more french fries! Unfortunately, the burger patty itself was dry but the toppings and sauces compensated for this cooking error. Also note, I seemed to be the only one with an overcooked burger, so maybe this is a freak thing (I’ll find out, because I will go back!).
My friends also got the BBQ Bacon Burger with cheddar cheese, bbq sauce, and a large onion ring. It look monstrous and yummy, but I was not disappointed with my burger choice!
All in all, a good place for American expats to enjoy the foods they miss and crave and a great way for Portenos to sample some proper American grub.